Happy 2nd Year Anniversaries!

Back from celebrating 2 years anniversary w boy! Waited for him almost 1 hour because he was late & trying to be mysterious for don't know what reason. Met him at 1.30 & treated him eat teppanyaki. Thought that wisma de should be nicer than tamp, but is much more lousier lo! Ate & straight away went back to Studio M Hotel. HEHE. Bb was trying to surprise me by booking Studio M Hotel to celebrate.

The room is prettaye max! Though is a lil small. HEHE. Nothing to do & so we went to swimmmmmmmm! Laugh die me that we're so awkward to wear the suit down to swimming pooool. He look like a japanese guy & I look like?? Speechless. 

Went swimming & like saw his friend, but we don't know if it's her anot. Jitao joke! Keep on swimming at a particular place & don't dare go over. Keep on disturbing him when he's swimming since I'm so lazy to swim. Played till choked on water. TSKKKKK! Swam awhile & went up bathed & prepared. Slept awhile & head out at 6 to 313 to walk!  

Walked awhile & headed to eat marche! Boy had planned everything nicely for this day when I doesn't need to make any decision, which is what I love & hoping he'll do this for 1 day. 

Had marche for lunch & this is the first time that we eat marche! A lil suaku & don't know what to order. HEHE. Love pork knuckle & swiss rosti best! Shall head back there next time when special date. Walked awhile & headed to watch our movieeeeeeeee! Nice max! But had a lil tiff with him & was angried with him till we're back to hotel. Then.. he went to customer service & I thought that he had bought cake give me. Suddenly he took a bouquet of rose & gave me! Seriously shocked or what. Got a group of people was at outside looking. Paiseh. Was smiling & acting I'm still angry on the lift. Don't know what am I trying to do. 

Pardon my face kkkkkk. Cried and angried myself why must I threw temper when he did so much for me & I still said that he doesn't care about me at all & did so many silly actions towards him. & thinking that he will never do anything for me on this day because he will always said it is just a normal day & everytime valentine or whatever day, he will tell me, 'Lucky you don't like flower, flower so expensive & die so easily.' So, I never expect him to give me anything on this day since he din't give me any surprise for previous 2 years. Din't expect so much surprises from him in a day. Was crying like a crazy girl & he thought that i'm angry at him angry at me then cry. But in fact is I angried at my own actions and being touched by what he did. Ate mac as supper & he watched his soccer and me falling asleep. 

 

Woke up at 7 and nua-ed till 8. Bathed & prepared & headed down for our breakfast in the hotel! But we was complaining that BinTan breakfast buffet is the best out of so many hotel breakfast buffet that we had went to. Erm. Like only bintan, genting & this breakfast buffet we had went to. :/ Headed up & nua-ed. Boy fallen asleep & me settling my family problems. Started to cry for some reason that sis was waking up my idea of believing some facts. & boy was shocked by my tears and started to see my group conversation with my 2 sis & started to cry even louder. Was almost close to breaking down in front of him & he had a hard time coaxing me and telling me that everything is okay. Checked out & walked to clarkquay to had our bak kut teh lunch. On the way boy was telling me, the reason of giving me 24 roses is because our anniversary is on 24. HEHE. I hope our anniversary date is on 99 so I get 99 roses. HEHE. Joking k. Was pestering him to tell me the price of the bouquet but he doesn't want to tell me. :( Bad boy. Confirm expensive max. Was telling him now give so many, next time he 求婚 need 99 roses liao. & end up he told me 'ya lor, now I give you alr, means 3rd year, 4th years all don't have le. If keep give then no freshness already. So wait till 求婚' Tsk. Ate btk & went to buy lunch for mammy & headed back home. So tired ttmzxc now. Wanna sleeeeeep. 

I'm sorry boy for my unreasonable for last week & telling you those mean words that you doesn't care about me at all. But in fact I din't know you did so much for me & still being so childish. Sorry k. :( I'm sorry for all. Thanks for your bouquet of roses. When we first start being together, I told you I hate roses. But in fact I love it. Just that I doesn't like to waste money on something I like which last for a few days only. Even though you had been telling me before that roses is waste of money & blah blah blah.. All along, I had been envying people with a bouquet of rose or even just one rose only. & you had been telling me you'll never buy for me because is waste of money. I had already drop of the mindset that you'll ever buy for me. But until yesterday, it really surprised me that you bought me a bouquet of rose just for our anniversary. Is not just 1, not 12, but you bought 24 roses for me. I knew how expensive that costed to buy so much roses. Though you doesn't want to tell me the price. Thanks boy. You had gave all your 2 years surprises in a day, how can I suppose to take that & not to be touched by your actions? I knew that in outside world, I can get other guy's care easily but not yours. But I knew that myself, I will never find any guy that love me more than you does. I knew that at times, you don't even bother to message me, to call me or even to talk to me. That is because you think that we doesn't need to at all but as long as I felt that you love me. I really had a hard time getting your attention all by myself. You had been saying all those mean word but never once you really meant it to hurt me. I hope that all those tough days is going to end soon. Please, don't neglect me anymore, OKAY?! Too much things I had to handle right now. I need you to be there & you must be there for me, k? I going to fall apart if you aint going to be there.

Thanks for all your planning, thanks for all your surprises, thanks for all your impossible, thanks for the studio M hotel, thanks for the bouquet of rose, thanks for the dinner, thanks for holding me when i'm falling, thanks for making me believe that at least you still care, thanks for putting all your attentions to me again, thanks for letting me believe no one will ever love me more than you, thanks for letting me met you.. Happy 2 years anniversary, love. 

Recently, too much house problems and I can't able to tank it anymore. I'm breaking down. I love my daddy mammy. I love both of them equally. I doesn't want to abandon one side to be another side, I want them to feel equal love from me. Maybe it's fate that I was born out to be their daughter, their daughter that bring their love stronger and to hold this family. Even towards friend, I doesn't want any side to feel abandoned by me. I know maybe i'm nothing, i just feel guilty in that way. But 2 years ago, things happened, I really had a hard time making them back together. But right now, all my efforts is GONE again. Sis is angry at them. I wasn't. If only I can let them scold then they won't quarrel, i willing to do that. But 1 sis word, make me break down. 'Daddy only love himself, he don't love you at all.' It makes me break down straight & i'm lucky that at that moment boy was there. I just believe that there is a reason behind everything. I just don't believe daddy will ever don't want me. Can you let me imagine, how daddy dote me all along & is like a fairy tale of a princess that is being doted by the king, suddenly sis broke this fairy tale & telling me it doesn't exist? Tell me, how should I feel? I can't stop crying whenever I think about this today. I had been trying hard to be good, why don't love me? Tell me, what is wrong? Tell me, which daddy don't love their own daughter. Tell me, this 20 years, daddy din't love me at all. How should I suppose to stand strong again? The sudden heartache. Sis want me to wake up, but the fact that, 我的心，好痛，好痛。I can't imagine life without either one of them. When I was small, i remember they used to disturb me, what if daddy mammy no longer together, who do I want to with? No matter is daddy mammy ask, or my close relative ask, I will cried out loud & said I want both of them. Right now, I'll still do the same. Maybe i'm naive, maybe i'm stupid, but that is what is important to me. 

Give me strength.