Internship trained everyone surviving skills

Internship seems to be easy, yet being strong & had to please everyone in order not to make them angry w you. Maybe not for everyone that feel what i felt. But then, aiya, whatever. 9 more days right? The true friends, will stay with me as long as they want to. Those who doesn't want, or maybe just temp? Idk. Is really damn fucking tired when you need to control your emotions and worried the actions you do might make anyone angry. I had to think before I talk and I can't even say anything I want just because I'm someone that is stubborn. People judge you by the way you talk or the way you do things. In working industry, I need to think before i talk, i need to control my own emotions, i need to be happy at all times, I need to act like i don't care, I need to CONTROL MYSELF for doing things that people might not like. Is so fucking tired k. 提心吊胆的日子，真的好累。Anytime, you might just make anyone angry without any reason or explanation. Lucky today after work, i can be totally myself, & also got tmr & sunday. 9 more days... 

Imagine, in intern, you had to act like you wasn't being neglected. Accept those comments that people give. Accept those dirty looks from people (PS: I only wear nice when i go out k). Think before you talk any single thing. Whenever you're upset or angry, you can't even express out to anyone because they'll hate you if you ever did. This is the society. Maybe I'm too naive, but being myself, not everyone willing to love me. I only can be the one who people love. I might don't bear to leave, because of those caring staffs that love me. Maybe they love that junting, is just part of me. But then, is enough. 7 weeks of intern, those experience, those staff, i'll remember, esp those who are super nice to me. :) 

I hate people that gives me those hot & cold feeling. Idk what they want at all. 

Falling apart.

Went work today after 1 day MC ysd. HEHE. Too much workload to do and had been busy for whole day and rushing for my work today. LIKE A CUI. Shall continue again tmr. Recently, too much things had happened. I can found the slightest changes in me. Love someone who love you more than you love yourselves. Find someone who can able to love you more than anyone in this world and you'll be safe. 

Happy 2nd Year Anniversaries!

Back from celebrating 2 years anniversary w boy! Waited for him almost 1 hour because he was late & trying to be mysterious for don't know what reason. Met him at 1.30 & treated him eat teppanyaki. Thought that wisma de should be nicer than tamp, but is much more lousier lo! Ate & straight away went back to Studio M Hotel. HEHE. Bb was trying to surprise me by booking Studio M Hotel to celebrate.

Bad week

Been sick for whole week. Eat alr = no eat sia, eat alr end up also all come out straight after I eat. LOL. Mom & dad nearly bring me to hospital if I continue on friday night. Lucky no. Woke up and lied to them I got work, else they're not going to let me go out w this state. HEHE. Went to bb's house and feel so weak once i dropped off. Went to his house & slept straight till 6. He promised will not let me alone in room and will let me see him once i woke. HEHE. Woke up a few times due to too hot and i kept say i don't want on aircon. Needa save electric for his mom! Woke up and slacked awhile and PMS again. Went for dinner after nua-ed. Wanted to eat teppanyaki end up renovating so went to drink soup. :( Wanna eat teppanyaki de leh! Bused to woodland and bb bought his mac home after sending me. :D Feel so unwell and din't eat much for the whole day. Daddy, sis, bro-in-law and aunty is playing mahjong and me helping mammy. Feeling so giddy. Jitao cui. Blah. Just hope I get well soon. Byebi.

You seems to worry about losing me ysd when you talked to me. Hehe. Though you said you dint even scare losing me, since i'm so clever, i know you'll right? :) 6 more months to go before you ORD. Things tend to get tough when i'm sick and you're away. This gonna end very soon. Your training is going to complete very soon and you'll be totally freeeeeeeeeeeee! :D I wanna a fat boy, not a skinny like going to become bone boyfriend. 5 more days to see you. Love you many!

Sick

Had gastric flu for this 2 days and sucks ttmzxc. Vomitted ysd before work and seriously spoiled everything. Felt damn fucking cold even I'm with my jacket on. But then, some things happened and I intended not to lend any jackets and continue to tolerate it. Pissed by some reasons but whatever lah. Fuck it k. Headed home taking bus alone because I had all sort of reasons and I know I shouldn't INTERRUPT if that is what she's most happy about. :) Headed home and walk like super duber far. I wanted to take cab but don't want waste intern pays on cab. Yet walking home seems to tell myself 'Please be strong, because when you fall, no one is gonna pull you up or even carry you.' Walked like 15 mins from 188 bus stop to home when usually I can take 5 mins to walk back home. Okcan. Slept and work at 830 today. 

Bad day starts and still not yet well. Worked alone. I had always predicted somethings I wish it will be just coincidence. But who knows? Maybe I'm too sensitive. But.. Whatever k. Worked with uncle Ma today and I had been laughing much and time has been flying. Went lunch w jeffi and shihui but din't eat much. Full ttmzxc. Headed work and after work accompanied zk & pon went for dinner and ate bread for dinner. This 2 hungry ghost can still eat after eating their rice. POWER. Went back home and they went back to work. HEHE. Kept on disturbing them their afternoon shift. But then tmr they changing to morning shift. HAHA. Lots of words left unsaid. Whatever. Headed home and mammy touches my head and realize i'm down w fever. Great. I wanna rest sooon.   

Who to turn to?

Feel so bad mood since ysd. Friends thought i had ... But no lah. Maybe they din't see before the ME that being sad or cry because i'm guilty, angry at myself for being dumb or any sort of reason. In front of them, i seems to be the happy one that laugh, joke, play w them. But there is still times that i feel sad right? DM called me this morning and said about the camera thingy. After so long, i nearly forgotten. But I still feel guilty for making him buy a new one for me. Though he kp sihao & abel before that we can't able to see the cctv, though he stole my camera, but then idk why i still guilty that he get caught. I knew i shouldn't when i wasn't at fault. Maybe I did by being careless. But whatever lah, always kana scold stupid or dumb by people because i can soft-hearted ttm. 

I'm sorry if i ever make it worst.

Headed to work today & went to have lunch together w yangguang. Sometimes quite don't get it what she said but ya, i tried k. :) This is what friends are right? Headed work tgt & busy like dk what. Kept on kana disturbed by pon & zhaokiat. But sad that pon is changing his shift because he stayed at malaysia and he need to rush back every night. Seems a lil sad for us because we 4 seems to go dinner everyday. But he requested to change back to normal again! Maybe he don't bear us. HEHE. Zk told me something and which makes me feel much distracted and guilty for causing all this. I felt that I owe someone a explanation so I called. But then, sometimes, both side is my friends, i can't possible really go side anyone of them but only listen to them right? 

Distances

Had been working for internship till i'm damn tired. Ysd went out w jellybear and went to have sukiya buffet for lunch because he has not been eating good since his fieldcamp. Sad boy. HEHE. Going end soon okay! 31st March gonna end all his training. But for me had to keep working ever since intern start till 13 April. Happy working. I think i will laugh more during this holiday than being in school. HEHE. Blah. Lazy to write any. BYEBI! 

Waiting is tired, but i still had to be stronger.

First day of internship

Had my first day of internship today at hiSoft. Basically is quite fun and enjoyable. :) Know quite a few new friends! Or maybe old friend. Jeffi, YangGuang(Sunshine), ZhaoKiat, ShiHui & jonlian? Dk how to spell his name lah! But well, I do enjoy k! :D But sadist i had not enough time to tell jellybear what I did today and what i enjoyed because he's busy with his fieldcamp again tmr. Is okay, i understand. :) Sometimes, i might wonder, single life has no difference between the life i'm having right now. But the fact that you can't change that is, I'm in love w him and he love me more than anyone else in this world. If I'm able to find another guy that love me, tolerate me more than he does, that might be more than impossible. So peeplos, don't be greedy wanting to find someone better, because who knows you might lose the best just because you kept on finding someone better than the best.