Had been working die this few days. No, should be only 3 days, yet my guiltiness is maximum that I ain't able to accompany my daddy mammy. :( Sorry daddy mammy for not being filial and bring you all out when you are on leave and spent time working. Shall bring them out this sunday to eat whatever they want. Ysd met up with the boy for dinner then headed back quite early because guilty of leaving parents at home. Today after work went to eat buffet with awesome then headed back with them. On the way back was talking with abel about my family. Perhaps, is time to bring the boy into my family...
I always wanted to, i didn't said I didn't want to. Is he's the one that ain't prepared to meet my parents due to those past experience that I told him before. So at the beginning we decided, after he ORD-ed, enrolled for SIM, stabilized our relationship before meting my family. K, I know I very stupid to do all this decision. People might think, 'if you really love him, why do you want to wait for him to be better then meet your family? Is not your family that is together with him what. blah blah blah.' But don't you guys realized that, when you want a good relationship, a stable relationship, you need family and friends to support you, isn't it? He need to have the ability to take care of your future, really be there so your parents will support you both.
Now I finally realize why mammydaddy is so freaking rejected my past relationship so many times. They wanted me to study hard instead of getting into relationship too early. I regreted it too and didn't study quite well. Lucky now still in poly. Else I'll fucking regret die for what I did.
Abel was the one that knew everything about my family & my boyfriend. Like seriously like he know more than anyone that knew me sia. Told him that i fear of really go & introduce the boy to family because of past experience. & he told me, 'YL is good enough than any of your previous experience. He got his degree now and is so good, your mammy won't don't like him de.' True enough. Perhaps, everything have to wait after the boy ORD-ed then decide.
Sometimes, just sometimes, is so hard to balance parents, boyfriend & friends together. If you was my true friends, i'm really sorry that sometimes all this cope up my time and I ain't able to go out with you all. But there seems to have some drift apart with some friends. Is okay then. I'll stick to those who willing to understand me & be there for me. I tried. But sometimes, SOMETIMES is so fucking tired to balance all this together. My parents depends on me, my boyfriends needs me, my friends need to understand that is really so fucking hard for me to be there for so many ppl.
If some friends ever drifted, what I can said is, forget it, because I tried hard enough & I'm tired of it. I won't even bother to contact if you guys don't even tried to understand those hard times i'm going through. I had my parents that needs me, i had my boyfriend which I need to accompany & I need him too, I need my friends to understand that this 2 had taken up most of my time and if drifted away from me or even outcast me away, thanks for so understanding k. Ahhh. Forget it. Right now, I had been sticking with abel they all. Seems like abel understand how I feel. Felt so much relaxer. I don't know if we'll have quarrels in the future or even if we can overcome or not, but, I knew that things are getting better ever since that night at mbs.
Sometimes, the most important people, don't even seems to care. So for fuck to bother? All I know is, all things comes & goes. Things changed, me too.
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